The most useful toy for you and your partner depends on the contact each of you enjoys. Shared gender does not mean shared preferences, anatomy or sensitivity. Talk about what appeals before choosing something together. You can browse our queer and lesbian favourites for strap-ons, harnesses, vibrators, suction toys, lube and dental dams.
External toys
A bullet has a small contact area; a wand offers a broader head. Either can be held by the person receiving the touch or by a partner. Compare the controls and whether the shape is comfortable to hold in the positions you want.
Air-pulse toys create a different sensation around the clitoris. Check the opening and the exact placement instructions. They do not suit everyone, and a model marketed for couples is not necessarily wearable.
Insertable toys and strap-ons
For a dildo or vibrator, compare insertable length, girth, firmness and shape. Ask each person what contact they want rather than assuming penetration is part of the plan.
A strap-on can be an option if you both want it. Check harness fit and toy compatibility. Some harnesses hold the toy externally; others have different designs. Wearing one does not dictate who initiates or how you define your role.
Our dildo guide explains size and base details. Trans women may want different kinds of contact depending on their bodies and preferences; ask rather than infer from identity.
Remote controls
Remote or app controls let someone change settings without holding the toy's buttons. Check how the model connects and what happens if the connection drops. Agree who controls it and how to stop; remote control is still subject to the wearer's consent.
Care and first use
Read the instructions together, start gently and check lubricant compatibility. Clean between partners and use a fresh suitable barrier where appropriate. Never move directly from anal to vaginal use.
Our guide to introducing toys gives suggestions for the conversation. One toy you both want to try is enough to begin.
