There is a particular kind of disappointment that comes from talking yourself out of something before you have even tried. The business stays an idea. The language you want to learn remains on a list. The screenplay never makes it beyond a conversation about what you would write if you had the time, the confidence or a better understanding of where to begin.
Sometimes there are real reasons to wait. Money, health, responsibilities and opportunity all matter. But sometimes the thing keeping us still is a conclusion we have reached about ourselves: other people can do that. We cannot.
At Gal Pal, we think that conclusion deserves to be questioned. Believing in yourself can change what you are willing to attempt. It can help you take an ambition seriously enough to make room for it, learn what you need and keep going through the uncomfortable early stages. You do not need to know exactly how everything will work before you begin.
Our founder, Fiona McMillan, knows that feeling well. Before Gal Pal existed, she was working for a large FTSE 100 company, unhappy in her job and carrying an ambition she had held since her teenage years. She wanted to build a business. She had no clear idea how to do it.
“The thing that helped me to keep on going was the knowledge that if I didn't at least try, it would be something that I would always, always, always regret.”
Gal Pal began in 2018. Eight years later, that decision has led to businesses, skills and opportunities she could not have mapped out at the start. It began with a willingness to try before she felt ready.
Someone else has done it. That means it is possible.
Seeing another woman achieve something you want can bring up complicated feelings. You might admire her and immediately start comparing your own progress. Her success can seem like another reminder of how far you have to go.
There is another way to look at it. She has shown that the thing you want exists outside your imagination. A woman has built that business, learnt that skill or made a life you would love to have. She has shown you that it is possible.
That does not mean her circumstances are identical to yours, or that following her steps will produce the same result. It means you have something more useful than a vague impression that your ambition is impossible. You have an example to learn from.
Let that example prompt questions. What did she learn? What did she try first? What could you adapt to your own circumstances? Another woman’s achievement can expand your sense of what is available to you.
Roxie Nafousi's Manifest includes the idea of turning envy into inspiration. It is a useful starting point for this shift: spend less time measuring the distance between you and someone else, and more time understanding what their experience might teach you. Admiration can lead somewhere when you give it a practical question to answer.
What manifestation means to us
Books such as Nafousi's Manifest and Rhonda Byrne's The Secret invite readers to think about the relationship between their inner lives and what they hope to experience. They approach that relationship through belief, intention and the possibility of change.
Byrne presents the law of attraction as the idea that our thoughts draw corresponding experiences into our lives. Nafousi’s framework brings together intention, behaviour, gratitude and working through fear. Both encourage us to consider what we expect from life and the beliefs we keep returning to.
That invitation can be powerful. If you are used to imagining the worst, making space for a future you actually want can feel unfamiliar. Allow yourself to picture it in detail. What would you be doing? What would your days feel like? What would you need to change to begin moving towards it?
At Gal Pal, we see value in taking those questions seriously. Let the vision become something you return to, rather than an ambition you mention once and dismiss. Give it enough attention to influence the decisions you make today.
“I believe there’s more to consciousness and the energy we put out into the world than we fully understand,” says Fiona. “For me, manifestation includes the belief that our thoughts and feelings can attract things into our lives.”
That connection between what we think, how we feel and what we attract is central to the teachings of The Secret and Bob Proctor. It brings us to the idea of positive frequency, and how we become more conscious of the energy we carry into each day.
Finding a positive frequency
Think about how you feel when you are hopeful, appreciative and excited about something. You approach conversations differently. You are more willing to entertain an idea, follow up an opportunity or imagine a good outcome. That is the positive frequency we want to make more room for.
Bob Proctor’s teachings explore the connection between thoughts, feelings and the state we bring to our lives. In his account of vibration and attraction, he encourages people to become deliberate about their thinking, to visualise what they want and to bring their actions into alignment with it. His emphasis on choosing what you repeatedly give your attention to offers plenty to reflect on.
How much of your day is spent rehearsing what might go wrong? What happens when you also give time to what could go well? A hopeful outlook can make it easier to engage with possibilities you would otherwise dismiss before exploring them.
“You're not waiting for things to happen to you. You are actively going out there and reaching for different opportunities,” says Fiona.
Pay attention to what helps you feel that way. It might be a conversation with someone encouraging, a favourite piece of music, a few minutes of meditation or listening to a speaker whose ideas motivate you. Give those things a place in your day. You can be intentional about the atmosphere you spend time in and the thoughts you keep feeding.
You can still experience fear and self-doubt. Some days will be difficult, and there is room to be sad, angry or tired. You do not have to judge yourself for those feelings. A positive outlook gives you something to return to when you are ready: the belief that there is still something worth moving towards.
Noticing what you absorb from other people
Most of us recognise the difference between leaving a conversation encouraged and leaving it depleted. Someone who takes your ambitions seriously can make you feel more willing to try. Repeated criticism or comparison can leave you questioning an idea you were excited about an hour earlier.
Notice how you feel after spending time with someone. Is there room for your excitement, or does every good thing become a comparison? Do you leave feeling understood, or find yourself defending an ambition you had felt perfectly comfortable with? These patterns can be easy to overlook until you start paying attention.
People need space to struggle, complain and ask for support. A friend going through a hard time is not a threat to your future, and nobody should have to perform happiness to deserve care. The distinction is in the pattern of a relationship: is there room for your hopes and good news too? Do you feel supported, or regularly diminished after an interaction with them?
You can care about someone and have limits. You can change the subject, spend less time in conversations built around comparison, or make more room for people who encourage you and lift you up. Being mindful of your surroundings includes noticing what you repeatedly hear about yourself and what you are capable of.
Gratitude for the life you already have
Ambition can keep your attention fixed on what comes next. There is always another goal, another milestone and another version of life that seems a little better than the current one. Gratitude offers a chance to notice what is already here.
Some of what you once hoped for may now be so familiar that you barely notice it. A relationship that brings warmth to your day. A home you feel comfortable in. A skill you worked hard to learn. Take a moment to recognise what those things mean to you.
For Fiona, walking into her living room in the morning is a reminder that the home she once wanted is now part of her ordinary day. She also makes a point of telling her partner every day how much she appreciates her.
A gratitude journal can give that appreciation a regular place in your life. Set aside five or ten minutes and write about what you are grateful for, including the small details. You do not need an extraordinary day to find something worth noticing.
“It allows you to actually shift your mindset, even if you're maybe not in the best mood, to take a minute and think about what it is that you're grateful for, acknowledge that, and write that down,” says Fiona.
Writing gives those details a little more attention than a passing thought. You might notice a moment of kindness, support you received or evidence of progress that the demands of the day had pushed aside.
You can appreciate those things and want your life to change. Gratitude need not put a ceiling on ambition.
Give the ambition a next step
Starting a business sounds enormous when you imagine every decision at once. So does learning Japanese or writing a screenplay. It is easy to look at the finished result and decide you lack the ability to produce it.
We suggest breaking the work into pieces small enough to begin. Ask what you need to understand first. Turn that into a task. Complete it, then work out the next one.
A web search, a conversation with someone experienced or an AI tool can help you find a starting point. AI can be useful for exploring a subject, organising questions and suggesting a plan (although its answers need checking).
The important step is moving your idea from a broad ambition to something you can actually do. The next step might be reading about a market, practising a few phrases or writing the opening scene. Completing it gives you information and experience you did not have when the idea was only in your head.
A vision board can keep your ambitions visible while you work towards them. Put it somewhere you will actually see it, whether that is on a wall or your phone’s home screen. Choose images that mean something to you and return to the reasons you chose them. Then connect that picture to the decisions and tasks in front of you.
Confidence can grow after you say yes
Waiting to feel confident can become a reason to keep waiting. Sometimes you find out what you are capable of by agreeing to something that stretches you. You prepare, feel nervous and do it anyway. Afterwards, you have an experience to draw on the next time you are asked.
That has been true of the public speaking opportunities Fiona has recently accepted. The nerves were there, but the events went well. Each one has made the next invitation feel more approachable. You can build confidence through experience without needing to eliminate fear first.
The early history of Gal Pal also shows how an uncomfortable situation can change a path. Within the first three months, the original website broke. Fiona could not afford to pay someone to fix it, so she learnt to build websites herself. That skill led to freelance marketing and web design work, and eventually to her own digital agency.
There was nothing easy about the failure at the time. It created work and uncertainty she had not planned for. Looking back, she can see how responding to it opened opportunities that were absent from the original idea.
Self-belief sometimes means trusting that you can learn what a situation requires, even when you would much rather it had gone smoothly.
Let yourself try
We believe people are capable of far more than they give themselves credit for. We also recognise that opportunities are not equally available. Money, discrimination, caring responsibilities and health can change what is possible, and how long progress takes. Someone else's success does not make those barriers disappear.
There is nevertheless a difference between encountering a barrier and deciding in advance that you have nothing to offer. That is the decision this article asks you to reconsider.
“Sometimes it's hard to trust yourself or believe in yourself, but I think the amazing thing is that when you feel that way, you show up anyway and you do your best,” says Fiona.
If there is something you want to do, give it enough attention to find a first step. Let another woman's success encourage your curiosity. Notice the people who make room for your ambition. Appreciate what you already have, and allow yourself to imagine more.
You do not need the whole plan today. You need a beginning you can act on.
If that beginning is a business idea and you feel unsure where to start, Fiona welcomes a message at fiona@galpal.co.uk. Her time is limited, but she would be happy to offer a few pointers or tips to get you started!
