The way you feel about your body can affect how comfortable you feel during sex. Psychosexual and relationship therapist Aoife Drury discusses that connection in these quotations from the original article.
“Being unhappy with your body does not just impact what you see in the mirror, it affects your mood, and your comparative scrutiny too,” explains Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist Aoife Drury.
“Feeling insecure about your body tends to impact your sexual self-esteem. And once one area of the sexual cycle is disrupted, it’s likely to have a knock-on effect on the rest; desire, arousal and orgasm. It becomes more difficult to relinquish control, lose yourself and ultimately relax during sex.”
Trying a phrase that feels believable
Some people find a short phrase useful when they notice self-critical thoughts. Choose wording that means something to you rather than repeating a statement that feels false. Positive self-talk is not a guaranteed way to increase sex drive or reach orgasm, and it is not a substitute for care when distress is persistent.
“Tackling that inner critic and replacing it with positive self-talk can dramatically improve your thoughts and feelings surrounding your body,” says Aoife.
Phrases to adapt
- I can ask for the touch I enjoy.
- I can say when something is uncomfortable.
- I can change my mind.
- My preferences are worth talking about.
- I can choose the pace that suits me.
- I can take time to understand what I like.
- I can ask for support when I need it.
- I can enjoy affection without agreeing to sex.
You can write one down, say it quietly or use it to prepare for a conversation. Keep what feels useful and change what does not.
When to seek support
If body image concerns, anxiety or distress are affecting daily life or sex, consider speaking with a GP or qualified therapist. A short phrase can support a conversation, but it cannot address every cause of discomfort.
The original Aoife Drury quotations are retained and attributed; no new interview or expert review is claimed.
